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Fear of Failure

fear of failure

There’s nothing like a job interview to bring out the fear of failure. fear of failure

Fear of failure in a job interview

Have you been to a job interview recently? Have you sat across a table from your prospective employers to face the barrage of questions which seek to determine your suitability for that particular job? Usually they ask you to demonstrate times in your career when you can show that you demonstrated the attributes for the role in question. You relate your successes, explaining how you achieved those wondrous things that your previous employer was so enamoured with.

But how many would-be employers ask you about your failures? How many ask you what you managed to salvage from the wreckage? Or seek to see the building blocks that made you successful in the areas the work demands? How many seek to know what you have learned?

Facing your fears (and even using them)

Successful entrepreneurs are not people who have never failed, but rather people who have learnt from their failures. And most importantly they are prepared to give it a go.

Ken Robinson, the education guru, once told the story of a little girl in a drawing lesson (TED talks) . Normally this little girl was very quiet and somewhat withdrawn but in this lesson she was really going at the drawing she was making. So the teacher asked, “What are you drawing?” and the little girl responded, “a picture of God.” “But noone knows what God looks like?” answered the teacher. And the little girl replied, “They will in a minute.” Mr Robinson’s point was that children will give it a go even when they don’t know how to proceed. They are not afraid of failure.

So often we do not take the chances in life because the result is unknown. Or we are unsure if what we will create will be a success. And so we stifle our creative spirit because we are afraid to risk, we become risk-averse. Hence we settle for what is, not because it is wonderful but because we are afraid to pursue what is better, in case we don’t make it. In case we flunk. But isn’t life for embracing?

Taking risks

Christian commentator Tony Campolo, once surmised that risks need to be taken. He reported comments from a group of senior citizens who stated that the consequences of our failures are never as bad as we imagine. I contend that if we do not risk then we destroy ourselves, simmering away in our cauldron of mediocrity.

So the next time you wonder why you are sat in a life of boredom, or tedium then ask yourself are you risking anything to change it? Extend the hand to a stranger or an enemy, go for that job, take yourself out of the house, join that club, become a DJ at the local radio. Whatever it is, don’t fear the consequences. Weigh it up and make that jump. You might find your life takes off and you’re capable of more than you ever imagined.

What fear if failure did for me

There’s no doubt that the fear of failure meant I was over 40 before I self-published my first novel, Crescendo. It was a big risk but one worth taking. Whether or not it becomes a ‘best-seller’ is as yet undecided but the self-fulfillment and achievement of writing has made facing my fears totally justifiable.

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Crescendo update

Well everyone after the excitement of making my Kickstarter it has been back to work. Currently the ebooks are being prepared, as are the PDFs for the distributor. Making the book in all formats has been quite hard work but I can’t wait to see them all. Bookmarks are being designed but something has arrived. The T-SHIRTS!

It was quite a labour to find what I thought would be good quality at an affordable price but the proof t-shirt seems the business with the print feeling excellent. Photos below (unfortunately without the Lara Croft-like model who cancelled at the last minute.)

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So part one of the rewards is well on its way. Can’t wait to see the book proofs though.

G R Jordan author, poet, and top Dad apparently!

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Crescendo! Kickstarter Update

Well we did it. With 13 hours to go, we hit the target of £1500. A big thankyou to all my backers, a wee smile to myself and then back to the grindstone tomorrow to get all the rewards, and indeed the book, ready. There’s a really generous bunch of people backing me up in my writing which is so encouraging. Here’s hoping they enjoy the book!

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G R Jordan author, poet, and top Dad apparently!

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The Hurt of Care Home Criticism

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“Well, I guess it’s the sort of thing you would have in a rest home, sitting on the table for when people are bored.”

It’s not the way I imagined someone talking about my first book of poetry. I had worked for years, endured deep thought and debate about single words in some of these poems and then fought hard to produce it all in a good looking book. And while I hope those unfortunate people who are bored in their rest home would find enjoyment and comfort in my book, it is not the location I had dreamed about for it. And I certainly didn’t expect to hear comments like this. As an intended compliment too! Seriously, the person thought they were complimenting me.
When you place your beloved “baby” into the public domain, it is perhaps done with immense trepidation. Even the most honest of comments, intended positively, can be soul destroying. I have found learning to smile in the face of what is sometimes coming across as abuse, difficult to master. And yet we heard this week how one disgruntled comment led to a bottle over the head.

It seems to me that sometimes the hardest things to learn in writing is not about the letters, words or spaces we form on the page. Neither are they about the formatting, publishing process, pricing and merchandising we are all a part of these days. Instead, it is simply being able to let your “baby” go.

When our children go into the world, people pass comment on them, sometimes praising them, at times not so. To let our kids loose on this world hurts, in comments and sometimes in how they change when the world gets a hold of them. Our writing goes through a similar process and we as parents must take the flak that comes. Our children grow by exposure to the world and so does our writing. And as parents we need to roll with the punches.
I think the hardest thing may be for screen writers, play writers or books that make it to film or television. Someone else then takes your child and changes them. Clips off the golden locks, dresses them in those gaudy colours or totally restricts their behaviour. Maybe the remuneration helps. I’ll let you know when I am there!

The simple fact is we can no more guard our writing from everything than we can our children. It is all about growing up. Yes we can vet who our writing is exposed to in some cases, change bad influences but ultimately we have to let some things just fly over us. Either that or ring every single care home and make sure there’s a copy on each table!

I’m currently publishing my first novel and the Kickstarter for Crescendo is running here until 21/11/15. Please support if you can.

G R Jordan author, poet, and top Dad apparently!